For some reason, every January I have a spate of friends that break up. Many of them are absolutely heartbroken. Statistics says people are more likely to break up between Christmas and Valentine’s Day with a considerable spike in breakups right after New Years Eve. I think during this period of forced close connection and time of reflection, we seriously think about who we want to be with and what we want for ourselves. We see our relationships for what they really are. Positive psychology science tells us that we are the happiest when we are living an authentic life. This means we should have authentic relationships. These relationships enable us to live our passions, strengths and values. Here is my test of whether you are in an authentic relationship – does your relationships make you feel more of who you are or less? The right people in our lives accept us for who we are, rejoice in our imperfections and support us in our dreams and aspirations. We feel loved, confident and inspired to be the best version of ourselves. We never feel we need to do or be anything more than who we are. Being yourself should be more than enough. Does your present relationship allow you to be authentic? If not, breaking up was not such a bad idea. It has allowed you and your ex to go on to find people who can make you both more authentic and more happier.
Take a moment to reflect on all your relationships in your life. This should include your family, friends and work colleagues. Do any of these relationships make you a better version of yourself? If they do, spend more time with these people. If not, then plan to make a change or take a small break and see if you feel more like yourself. Living your life around people that just love you and accept you for who you are is replenishing and healing. This is a new year’s gift to yourself.